THE PRINCESS BRIDE | KERNEL CLAIRE’S FAVOURITE FILM

Last weekend I lost my movie virginity to this amazing film. I had never seen it before in my life, and for a film critic who loves fantasy, apparently this was horrendously bad. The great peeps at Palace Cinemas had a special screening of the film, on the big screen, and Kernel Claire, the biggest of fans, came along with me. She was like a junkie given a bag of free crack. She giggled her head off for the entire film and knew every line of the film. I loved experiencing her joy at the film. I have come out a true fan and have forgiven Cary Elwes for the atrociousness of Men in Tights, I have never been able to like him onscreen because of this film but I loved him in this. And I loved everything about this, I had only watched THE NEVERENDING STORY again a few days before this so my mind was blown to have an 80s childhood film week. But then it hit me, what are the other Kernels’ favourite films. And so begins our Kernel Favourite Film segments, an itsy bitsy glimpse into the mind of a piece of popcorn 🙂 Enjoy a very passionate film review from Kernel Claire below and if you want to read some spectacular trivia on the film – suss it out HERE. All the best………JK

 

THE PRINCESS BRIDE IMAGE | THE MOVIE POSTER
THE PRINCESS BRIDE | THE SALTY POPCORN REVIEW | KERNEL CLAIRE’S FAVOURITE FILM | THE MOVIE POSTER

 

REVIEW BY CLAIRE SMITH

When mentioning I’m a freelance movie critic, I’m often asked the difficult and pointed question of “What is your favourite movie?” I generally “umm and aah” over my response and give reasons behind separate genre favourites and how each of them are an important stakeholder in film-making techniques and cinematic history, blah blah blah.

When I first was placed in an office-job in the cinema industry I was asked to make the ultimate commitment and provide the name of my favourite film to my employer so that it could be included on my business card.

This was a tough decision.

My business card would be handed out to potential clients, prospective project partners, not to mention pot-luck business card draws to win an iPad. Business cards are by nature purely data based; who is this person and how can I contact them. And here we had a small amount of information included on the card which would allow the receiver to know a small amount of personal detail about me.

Choose a film title too recent, and it would make me appear younger than I am, too far in the past and I’m instantly aged by ten years. Choose something too mainstream or too obscure and suddenly it’s “No Johnston, I recommend against choosing that one, she is a fan of horror movies”.

So what to do, what to do? Star Wars? Too mainstream – and how could I choose a favourite, it’s like picking a favourite child. Labyrinth? A bit too quirky. Garden State? Maybe, but again, too recent; it’s not yet a cinematic classic.

And then, BINGO. It hits me like a shot of iocaine. “The Princess Bride.” It fits all my criteria, quirky but not too far into the David-Bowie codpiece genre. Old, but not outdated. A cult classic but not too mainstream. Now if I could just stop people from assuming it’s that damned 2001 Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews film “The Princess Diaries.”

 

THE PRINCESS BRIDE IMAGE | INIGO MONTOYA, VIZZINI AND FEZZIK
THE PRINCESS BRIDE | THE SALTY POPCORN REVIEW | KERNEL CLAIRE’S FAVOURITE FILM | INIGO MONTOYA, VIZZINI AND FEZZIK

 

So when I got the chance to watch The Princess Bride on the big screen again and King Colonel Kernel Jason asked me to write a review, naturally, my response was “As you wish.”

Bedridden with the flu, a young boy sits alone in his room. His Grandfather arrives to read him a book that has been passed down through the generations of men in his family. Concerned that this book – The Princess Bride – is just some “kissing book” Grandpa convinces him to the story, stating it is filled with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love and miracles. Touted as being a tale that is not just your every day, ordinary, run of the mill, ho-hum fairy tale, this book (and in turn the film) is a heck of a lot more than just some “kissing book”.

Buttercup lives on a farm and takes delight in tormenting Westley, the local farmboy. His only response to her endless requests is “As you wish”. Through her teasing, Buttercup eventually realises she loves Westley and so he steps off to make his fortune at sea so they may be wed and start their life together.

After his departure, Buttercup learns that Westley’s ship is taken by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who takes no survivors and so the heartbroken Buttercup swears she will never love again.

On the eve of her reluctant wedding to Prince Humperdinck (boo, hiss) she is taken hostage by an unlikely trio of bandits, the brain – Vissini, the brawn – Fezzick and the beauty – Inigo. During their kidnapping they are followed and challenged by a masked man who isn’t who he appears to be.

He dies, she gets kidnapped, but it’s all ok in the end. Don’t let the film title fool you – it’s not some sissy kissing book for swooning teens, its a seriously funny film with enough quotable quotes in it to keep you up to speed with the rest of pop culture and if you haven’t seen it yet, where have you been all its life?

 

THE PRINCESS BRIDE IMAGE | WESTLEY ON A CLIFF
THE PRINCESS BRIDE | THE SALTY POPCORN REVIEW | KERNEL CLAIRE’S FAVOURITE FILM | WESTLEY

 

There’s famous actors a go-go in this one, the kindly Grandfather is played by Peter Falk – for whom those 70’s kids will remember fondly as Columbo. The Princess Buttercup? That’s Robin Wright of “Jennay” fame from Forrest Gump.

Farmboy Westley is Carey Elwes and “Oooh You’re scared of the claw” – the dad in 1997’s Jim Carey comedy Liar Liar – also notable as the villainous Dr Miller in Twister, a foot-cutting cameo in the original movie of the Saw franchise (and also as Robin Hood in the editor’s favourite film – Robin Hood Men in Tights.) (EDs NOTE: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

Not enough celebrity bang for your buck? Well, how about voice of Nightmare Before Christmas’ Jack Skellington – Chris Sarandon as the evil Prince Humperdinck (boo, hiss),  Wallace Shawn as the brainy Sicilian Vissini – his voice sound familiar? That’s probably because you’re a Toy Story fanboy and remember him as the voice of Rex the Tyrannosaurus.

Still craving more Celebs crammed into your cult movie experience? Let me list a few more for you: Billy Crystal, Peter Cook, Fred Savage, Andre the Giant, Mandy Patinkin and Christopher Guest.

Still not convinced? The film was directed by Rob Reiner – who also wrote and directed such cult classics as This is Spinal Tap, Stand by Me and When Harry Met Sally – not to mention playing Leo Dicaprio’s dad in 2013’s Wolf of Wall Street.

 

THE PRINCESS BRIDE IMAGE | BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY
THE PRINCESS BRIDE | THE SALTY POPCORN REVIEW | KERNEL CLAIRE’S FAVOURITE FILM | BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY

 

The Princess Bride has so many quotable quotes in it. We’ve all heard the “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die” line. But what about the six fingered man? And do you know what R.O.U.S stands for? How about “Mawwage – Twue Wuv.”

It’s difficult to sum up in words the place you hold in your heart for such a cult classic darling of a film. Its funny, its quotable, its fun. I’ve watched this film with eight year olds, I’ve watched this film with eighty year olds and I enjoy it every time I watch, re-watch and watch again. Do yourself a favour, grab a copy of this film and watch it with a friend. I am yet to show it to someone who hasn’t enjoyed it.

Giving this wonderful film anything less than five stars? INCONCEIVABLE?!?!!

 

5 Pops