Ride Along 2 | Review

Oh the joy of B-grade movie sequels……just why?? Why is Olympus Falling in London? Why was SPEED 2 made? I could write an entire article on the utter cash-grab cows who should have been made into fine wagyu burgers instead (in fact I think I will :)). Kernel Alistair’s biggest why of 2016 is WHY WAS RIDE ALONG 2 MADE? I had no desire to see it but Alistair was up for it and I have had more laughs reading his review than I think I would have had from seeing the movie BUT I would nearly watch it for Olivia Munn, her Sloan Sabbith from THE NEWSROOM is enough for me to love her for eternity and forgive her for trash like this. RIDE ALONG 2 is out now and has actually surprised and made more money than expected so get set for RIDE ALONG 3 in the not too distant future. It is released from our friends at Universal Pictures Australia, is rated M and runs for 102mins. Now enjoy Alistair’s love of the word cliché……..all the best……..JK.


ride along 2 australian movie poster image



Studio formula for sequel success, “just double everything”.

Double the budget.

Double the explosions.

Double the special effects.

Double the stars.

Double the double…

An awful concept that someone should really address. RIDE ALONG 2 unfortunately suffers the misfortune of this inept thinking and sees Kevin Hart and Ice Cube team up once again to take down the crime king pin of Miami. You know Miami right? The place where apparently all the drug dealers and crime lords hang out in America (Scarface, Bad Boys 2, Transporter 2, Miami Vice, Casino Royale etc etc). Miami or New York, one of the two.


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RIDE ALONG 2 follows these two hero cops as they go through their usual opposite act routine with Ben Barber (Kevin Hart) revealing more of his feminine side, becoming even louder and whining twice as much, James Payton (Ice Cube) doubles his level of surliness. It was a lot to deal with in the first movie but it is no doubt what made it a box office success, so according to the movie studio doctrine of Hollywood we have Christopher Walken in the boardroom shouting “show me more cowbell!”

However, the good news is that even with this over the top acting (or under the top in the case of Ice Cube) we get double the dosage of seemingly incompatible buddies in Maya (Olivia Munn) and AJ (Ken Jeong). These two fulfill exactly the same role as Ice Cube and Kevin Hart yet insist on being on the screen at the same time, it’s just annoying. You could have made a “Ride Along 2: Cruisin’ in Miami” spin off with these two and you would have got exactly the same thing as what everyone got out of the first film. Admittedly, Ken was a stand out in the film and helped provide some light-hearted entertainment which is exactly what I said for Kevin Hart in the first film. Other than that I went from being mildly (and I stress mildly) entertained to just being bored with the performances.


ride along 2 movie image


Instead of building upon the relationship foundation which Kevin Hart and Ice Cube established in the first film they decided to skip the middle bit and go straight for the capstone atop the pyramid which was held up only by toothpicks. Benjamin Bratt (Antonio Pope) on the other hand was a walking Miami kingpin cliché with his olive tan, slicked back hair and Spanish accent, I half expected him to spew forth cocaine when he spoke and have an arrow over his head with the writing “I’m the bad guy.” However, it was a fitting character for this film which was so riddled with clichés it looked like a block of Swiss cheese, but clichéd.

We’re talking angry police captains, expensive car chases, big boats, extravagant parties, turn in your badge moments and love matches so obvious it was the equivalent to throwing a rock into the viewer’s head. The plot lacked any sort of originality which is too be expected considering the story of the first film was entirely based upon Ben becoming part of the force. Once you took that away a lot of the film’s formula for box office success melted away and the easiest option was just to throw clichés at it in the hope that one could make a money making, popcorn, fluff piece.

Overall RIDE ALONG 2 was not my cup of tea and I would have preferred to have seen the film on my couch where I could comfortably doze off.


1 and a Half Pops



Kernel Alistair has been and will be a lover of movies from when Marlon Brando first amazed as Stanley Kowalski to the day that we see the 100th Marvel film. They can amaze, excite, incite and ignite the viewer and here’s hoping he can help you find which ones.