So many thanks – with thanks to Salty Kernel, MITCH LEWIS, for reviewing this one and uber special thanks to the amazing people at HOPSCOTCH FILMS for giving us five copies of the film, PARKER, on DVD for you to win – see after the article on how to win. 

JASON STATHAM PLAYS A RICH TEXAN COMPLETE WITH COWBOY HAT AND AMERICAN ACCENT IN THIS FILM!!! (If that doesn’t grab your attention, I don’t know what will.)


Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty
Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty


I may have embellished a little bit, although he does masquerade as a rich Texan complete with a cowboy hat and the southern accent for a good portion of the movie, Jason Statham actually plays an intense balding British guy with steel stubble and a gravelly accent who is no stranger to physical violence, knows how to expertly handle weapons and has a penchant for executing flawlessly choreographed martial arts all while upholding his unique rules and code of ethics in The Transporter, I mean The Italian Job, I mean Chaos, I mean Rogue Assassin, I mean Crank, I mean Death Race, I mean The Expendables, I mean Killer Elite, I mean Parker. Yeah… Parker.

PARKER is a 2013 revenge action film starring Aussie actress Emma Booth (Underbelly), Michael Chiklis (The Shield, Fantastic Four), Jennifer Lopez (THE Jennifer Lopez) and of course, Generation Y’s very own Chuck Norris, Jason Statham (best known for playing more-or-less the same character in every movie in the opening paragraph).

Statham plays Parker, a professional thief who lives by the code that you don’t steal from the poor and you don’t kill those who don’t deserve it. However, after only just barely scraping through a botched carnival mission headed by crew leader Melander (Chiklis), Parker is double-crossed by his crew and left for dead. Through his reliable contacts (Nick Nolte???) and the help of down-on-her-luck real estate agent Leslie (Lopez) he is able to track down his old crew to Florida in order to intervene their next heist and exact revenge.


Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty
Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty


Parker is actually a long standing literary anti-hero originally authored by Donald Westlake under the pseudonym, Richard Stark. Although the character’s name was always slightly altered, Parker novels have already been adapted for the silver screen a number of times before, most notably 1967’s POINT BLANK starring Lee Marvin as Walker and 1999’s PAYBACK starring Mel Gibson as Porter, both of which were based on the novel entry, The Hunter. This particular film is an adaptation of the novel entry entitled Flashfire and the first film to keep the characters original name of Parker.

This movie is entertaining but not in the way that standard Statham action flicks are. Parker tries to be gritty but ends up being a little dull. A heist movie can get carried away with overly-technical gadgets and far-fetched plot points a la Oceans 11-13 and in actual fact, what works for this film is that it does not drift into that territory, it keeps things fairly grounded but in the end, it’s that very fact that almost ends up working against it because Parker never seems to spread its wings and take flight as much as it wants to. In a statement that will no doubt have any heist movie producer punching their computer screen and screaming “WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT!?”, movies are great when they are executed in a believable manner but at the end of the day you have to leave a little room for some fantasy or it fails to captivate the viewer and engage the audience. People watch movies to escape reality, not to be reminded of it.

That being said though, the amount of point blank gunshots and seemingly fatal injuries that people survive through in this movie is pretty ridiculous to say the least.


Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty
Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty


As for the cast, Jason Statham plays Jason Statham playing Parker in what is essentially a slightly sub-standard Jason Statham action flick. As mentioned before, he does don a cowboy hat and try his darndest to pull off a Texan accent in order to fool Jennifer Lopez’ real estate agent at one point in the film and in all honesty, that alone is worth grabbing a copy of this DVD for. Very Inglorious Basterds Brad Pitt “Bongiorno” if you ask me.

Speaking of Jennifer Lopez, why the hell was she in this film? She seems very out of place. I have nothing against J.Lo, I actually think she seems like a very nice woman (and is una mujer Latina muy caliente, a la edad de 43) but she seems like an ill fit for a Jason Statham action romp. She’s not necessarily bad in it, she just doesn’t seem quite right. In this, J.Lo is more or less the comic relief playing a flustered, depressed single woman living with her over-bearing mother who goes above and beyond for her clients yet receives little or no financial or career gain. Having Parker enter her life is almost like a pick me up for her as she begins to fall for him despite his ever faithful roots to his loyal girlfriend, played by Australian actress Emma Booth.


Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty
Parker Review and Giveaway on Salty


It’s great to see any Australian share a screen with big name Hollywood entertainers, even if their characters aren’t all that important or memorable. Booth plays the part of Claire absolutely fine but she has the bare minimum to work with and continually appears and reappears just when you forget her character exists. Michael Chiklis’ Melander is also a forgetful villain. He doesn’t seem particularly bad or menacing, his acting seems clumsy and impatient which sucks when you know how good an actor he actually is. (Sidebar, every time I hear him speak I can only picture The Thing from Fantastic Four… but that’s just me.)

The action sequences in this movie are mediocre. I enjoyed them but found that I wasn’t as entranced as I was when I first watched The Transporter or Crank. For a Jason Statham movie, Parker was a little weaker than some of his previous efforts but let’s face it, when you choose a Jason Statham film, you’re choosing it because you generally know exactly what you’re going to get, however on this occasion, you may be a left with an unfulfilled appetite after watching Parker. It’s good but I expected more. But you can decide for yourself by winning a copy below.

Parker is rated MA15+ – OUT ON BLU-RAY, DVD & DIGITAL HD on JULY 17.


2 and a Half Pops


To win one of the five copies of the DVD available, again thanks to HOPSCOTCH FILM, you need to Tweet us @saltypopcornau with the hashtag #PARKERWIN the answer to the following question:

What is the best Jason Statham film of all time and why? (remember 140 characters only :) )

If you do not have Twitter then you can put it on our Facebook wall – the links are on the Salty home page so you can get there :) Or if you still have my email address then go for it.

The DVDs will be sent out to the winners after the DVD releases on the 17th July. Good luck!