SALTY POPCORN TOP 10 MOST HATED FILMS OF ALL TIME

We all love a good list – they are all generally about what you love, what’s the best in a genre and so on. Surprisingly, as this is one of loathing and many wasted hours in cinemas watching bile spew forth on the silver screen our follow up article will be something a little more light – like our favourite animations of all time. But I decided to ask the Kernels, all ten of them to vote on their most loathed cinematic travesties and here are the results – THE SALTY POPCORN TOP 10 MOST HATED FILMS OF ALL TIME. As we also love a good suspense – so I shall present them from 10 to 1…………………….. Dun Dun darrrrnnnnnnnnnnnn

All of these films score ZERO pops!

10) CASTAWAY

 

Castaway Poster - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
Castaway Poster – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

This film polarised audiences, you either loved or loathed and I honestly wanted to walk out – it was so boring and most of the Kernels agree – seriously – screw you Wilson and your love affair with a human who reached a point of saturation with audiences. I think people just started getting over seeing Tom Hanks in this film and this was the start of the downfall of Hanks.

It was shot beautifully and had a story that would be ideal to read as a book but to have to watch an entire two hours of Tom Hanks talking to a basketball was enough to make us drown ourselves.

 

 

9) YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

 

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

I didn’t even watch this one and waste my time but it got multiple votes from the Kernel – let’s just say something like – ADAM SANDLER – YOU HAVE GONE TO THE SHIT. Big Daddy was so awesome but this is abysmal.

 

 

8) ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS

 

ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

This one was non negotiable – I bloodywell hate this film. It was the first film I ever walked out of and have despised it ever since – it is now 20yrs old and I still have 20 yrs of hate for it. I do not like Cary Elwes and have never been able to forgive him for this film – every time I see him I think of this film. I hate it so much I am actually getting angry as I type this so time to move on :).

 

 

7) ABDUCTION

 

ABDUCTION - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
ABDUCTION – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

It’s a shame – this was Taylor Lautner’s chance to break away from Twilight, at the time he made this film he was literally the highest paid actor on the planet, the problem was, he could and cannot act as a lead actor, or pretty much as a support actor. His best performance was as an 8yr old in Shark Boy and Lava Girl. I think he wasn’t self conscious then and it just flowed and now he is so conscious of everything going on his delivery of lines is like morse code. The tragedy of this is that he is literally one of the hottest people alive, if he could act he could own the world. He just needs to move into gay porn and I shall forgive everything else haha. Enough of that – this film is so bad you laugh at nearly every scene. I only forgive Sigourney for being in this because she is a goddess.

 

 

6) BATTLEFIELD EARTH

 

BATTLEFIELD EARTH - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
BATTLEFIELD EARTH – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

I am really surprised this atrocity was not higher on the list, I think it might be that half the Kernels are under 25. They have been spared the atrociousness. This could have been one of the best sci fi films of all time but instead was a Scientology propaganda film with John Travolta in one of the worst performances of all time. Seriously, enough from me on this one. This says it all and makes me laugh:

“A million monkeys with a million crayons would be hard-pressed in a million years to create anything as cretinous as Battlefield Earth” wrote the Washington Post. “A cross between Star Wars and the smell of ass” said Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. “Everything about Battlefield Earth sucks,” added Jonathon Ross on Film 2000. “Everything.”

This film is probably the most critically attacked film of all time.

 

 

5) THE HAPPENING

 

The Happening - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
The Happening – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

Do not go outside as the wind and nature can kill you – seriously – fuck off. Seeing this film I believe was my second or third announcement I was going to assassinate M. Night Shyamalan. It is appalling – I walked out. The thing I love about Shyamalan’s films, they are so perfectly marketed. The poster, the look of the film and the styling are always incredible but the story and the directing – embarrassing. I think I saw this with a friend, Sam, who literally had to deal with me spewing vitriol for hours after this film. It is soo soo bad!! I fail to understand how Shyamalan still gets funded – every film since his first has been a perfect scale from awesome to eats shit. And yet, again, I am excited to see AFTER EARTH, on my actual birthday, 2hrs from home 🙂

 

 

4) LADY IN THE WATER

 

LADY IN THE WATER - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
LADY IN THE WATER – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

Mr Shyamalan’s second entry into the top ten worst Salty Popcorn films of all time. Quite possibly THE MOST STUPID PLOT IN THE HISTORY OF FILM. Again marketed beautifully and everyone loves Paul Giamatti but nothing could save this piece of poop.

 

 

3) AVP2

 

AVP2: - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
AVP2: – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

I never actually watched this but a lot of the Kernels agreed – it was atrocious. I think the reason these films are so bad is due to the fact that they make a mockery of two brilliant franchises.

 

 

2) THE LAST AIRBENDER

 

THE LAST AIRBENDER - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
THE LAST AIRBENDER – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

Welcome back for your third entry silly mr Shyamalan – no one but yourself has multiple entries in this list – does this say anything?? YES – most of your films are pure shit!! As I walked out after 5mins of the film I just Googled “Why was The Last Airbender so bad?” and this is what I got;

The movie is so bad because it doesn’t stay true to the original (The emmy nominated anime series). The characters are totally different from the likeable cast of the TV show. The story is butchered and hardly recognizable if you’re a fan of the TV show. In short, they took a great anime series and completely ruined it with bad casting, terrible writing and horrid directing and acting.

 

 

and drumroll……………………………..

The OFFICIAL MOST HATED FILM OF ALL TIME, AS PER THE SALTY KERNELS IS:

1) SCARY MOVIE 5

 

SCARY MOVE 5 - Top 10 Worst Films of all Time
SCARY MOVE 5 – Top 10 Worst Films of all Time

 

I never even bothered – saw the first Scary Movie and enjoyed it but never bothered with the rest – this got a hands down clear win in the worst film of all time and the funny thing is, it is also the most recent film out of the lot – nice work Scary Movie 5 – you have made the top of a list 🙂

 

 

Hope you liked our most hated – what do you think? What did we miss? Do you actually like any of these? Let us know and rock on poppers!!