LUCY | MOVIE REVIEW

Oh where to begin with this film. The trailer for this was bloody epic, I was excited, we were basically getting Scarlett in a Black Widowish kick ass film that would see her dispatching bad dudes left right and centre, it would also be about evolution and her brain would increase in intelligence levels until she became the ultimate human. Could Luc Besson be back with a film that was as brilliant as Leon? Could he be redeemed from looking like the action version of M. Night Shyamalan? I invited my long lost bestie Carrie to attend this one with me, we hadn’t seen each other in months, she loves a good strong female lead and I wanted to hang out, do dinner, and then take her to see a film that she would love. The last film we saw together was NEED FOR SPEED and Carrie LOVED IT. If she loved that, this was easy, this film would be a work of genius for her. Unfortunately it’s a piece of shit. Haha. LUCY is out this Thursday 31st July in Australia from Universal Pictures Australia, is rated MA15+ and runs for 89mins.

 

LUCY MOVIE POSTER IMAGE
LUCY | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | MOVIE POSTER

 

REVIEW BY JASON KING

The film starts with cells dividing into the original Lucy, the evolutionary first female, Lucy is the common name of AL 288-1, several hundred pieces of bone representing about 40% of the skeleton of a female Australopithecus afarensis. It was discovered in 1974 at Hadar in the Awash Valley of Ethiopia‘s Afar Depression and is estimated to be about 3.2million years old. She is there to represent evolution, and to show how far we have come all the way through to current Lucy. This scene was great, I loved how she cupped her hand to drink water. We then fast forward with some “look how we have screwed up the planet” footage to meet our Lucy, the lovely and hopeless “student” Lucy (Johansson) outside an office building after a big night out and her “friend” keeps insisting she take this suitcase inside, ask for some guy and hand over the suitcase, he ends up becoming a little insistent.

Lucy ends up cuffed to the case, takes it in, shit hits the fan and she ends up waking up with a crapload of a new drug sewn inside her intestinal area. She then refuses the advances of a temporary jailer who kicks the crap out of her stomach (plot flaw right there, if the merchandise is so expensive, why is the jailer kicking her where it is being kept?). Low and behold this experimental new synthetic drug is a wonder drug known as CPH4, it is based on the human hormone drug that females produce to create the life of a foetus, it is what supposedly gives all the energy and wonder to create skeletal structure and to create a human. Lucy has just had a shitload of it explode into her system, this should kill her, but nope it creates this life force explosion in her and immediately gives her some kind of super powers and starts exponentially increasing her brain power.

 

LUCY MOVIE IMAGE
LUCY | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | LUCY (SCARLETT JOHANSSON) NABBED BY BAD DUDES

 

I should mention that we occasionally cut to evolutionary science genius Professor Norman (Morgan Freeman) who is explaining (in that velvet voice from the gods) all about evolution and he is explaining the old theory that the human brain only uses about 10% of its capacity. Enter plot silliness #2 – this has been proven inaccurate numerous times, it should also be noted at this point that Luc Besson (writer and director) is totally old school, he does not own computers, he does not believe in technology, and everything he makes is done with pen and paper. Why somone like this would make technology films is beyond me.

Anyways, Norman and Lucy hook up and as Lucy’s brain capacity increases it does so at the cost of the human part of herself, ie she loses all emotion and starts becoming a USB stick. Now, if you had guessed, the film has already lost its shit by here.

The film could have been a cool evolutionary explanation film if it stuck to science, but instead it threw in an action film and then it threw in Asian gangsters. And the film had no idea what it was, Besson was basically on CPH4, or crack, while making this film. It is a mess and when you think about it, he just remade TRANSCENDENCE with Black Widow.

 

LUCY MOVIE IMAGE
LUCY | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | LUCY (SCARLETT JOHANSSON) ABOUT TO KILL SOME DUDES

 

It as at this point I am going to blame the film company for the way they marketed this film. They went for a “let’s show them an action film and show all the Black Widow like bits with Scarlett kicking ass” – they never showed us that about one third into the film Scarlett becomes an emotionless automaton who doesn’t even need to fight anymore, she has the force.

Now this film is filled with some superb scenes of action and some even better CGI imaginations of evolution and life. But the two of them do not belong together, it comes across as confused, schizophrenic even, and my biggest letdown, I just wanted Scarlett fighting peeps – I didn’t want an uber dumb science movie about the smartest being in existence.

The acting is fine, they did the best they could with what they had, but I seriously wish Morgan Freeman chose his roles better, he prolifically works but regularly is in total crap. Scarlett is great for the first third of the film, the scene when the thugs take her to the kingpin dude at the start was great, her acting out fear was superb. Once she lost her emotion, I would have preferred a cardboard cut out.

 

LUCY IMAGE
LUCY | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | DOCTOR NORMAN (MORGAN FREEMAN)

 

As the film progresses we see images on the screen showing what level of intelligence she is reaching, it is like the next level of a game, where she gets more powers, at one stage she literally vomits pure light and energy, yep, that happens, and OMG the ending – you can find that out for yourself. She also has a kiss with a cop in the film that is possibly the worst kiss in cinematic history and she also has the most unrealistic phone conversation with her mother I have ever heard (Carrie pointed this out, no way a mother would react like that), and my favourite line from the film – “sounds are music that I can understand, like fluids.” Bahahahaha. If this Lucy is the future of evolution then I really feel sorry for the Lucy that is 3.2million years old, I would prefer to devolve.

Luc Besson – I love your earlier work, NIKITA, LÉON and THE 5TH ELEMENT are all superb films, two of them are in my top 50 films but after this you lost your shit and embraced the mediocre. I know greatness is still inside your brain but sadly this isn’t it.

 

JK’S POP SCORE:

2 Pops

KERNEL ALISTAIR’S POP SCORE:

2 Pops

 

 

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