AUTUMN BLOOD looks epic, has some amazing actors and has a decent story with endless potential. A pity then it appears to have failed on most levels. From what I have read it appears the director was too young and inexperienced and the plot deteriorates but what the hell am I doing babbling on about it? Just read Kernel Jordan’s review below and thanks to the folks at Eagle Entertainment Australia you can win copies of it on DVD, if you actually want to after Jordan’s less than glowing review haha. AUTUMN BLOOD released on DVD & Blu Ray and Australia back in February, if you don’t win and you are interested you can buy it HERE, it is rated M and runs for 96mins. All the best……….JK.






That was the prevalent thought going through my mind as I watched this ‘thriller’. Why is she doing that? Why are these men so violent? Now thrillers obviously thrive on this notion, adding tension by holding its cards close and forcing the viewer to ask this very question. However, in AUTUMN BLOOD, none of these questions are answered. At all. This could be due to the fact that it seems that the filmmakers forgot to hire a scriptwriter, as while it isn’t a long movie, clocking in at 96mins, there couldn’t have been more than twenty lines of dialogue, and the only thrill this movie delivered was when two characters actually had a conversation, albeit one that did not last long at all.

The film begins with children working on a farm at the top of a mountain, ‘off the grid’, when suddenly their father decides to race down the track with a shotgun, only to be shot himself. Why? Who knows, I certainly don’t and the movie gave me little reason to try and figure this scene out. After more banal scenes of the children farming while being unable to speak for some reason, they just happen to sleep in the same bed as their mother when she dies in her sleep. Or maybe they saw she was dead and decided to get into bed with her for some bizarre reason. Either way, the movie didn’t make it clear, yet again, why the mother died. It would seem that the death of both parents were just there to serve the purpose of the movie, a coming-of-age tale for these two freshly orphaned children as they learn to live off the land as their parents did.


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This new responsible yet peaceful lifestyle is shattered however when the girl (literally ‘the girl’, as per the end credits) is bathing naked in some sort of pond, only to be raped by yet another unnamed character. In fact all the characters are nameless. I couldn’t help but wonder, again, why has this man, who is shown later to have a girlfriend of his own, decided to seek out this girl so he can have his way with her? By this point I was already losing interest as for the first 45mins, two words are spoken, so I was losing motivation to figure out the answers to these questions. Now don’t get me wrong, I recently reviewed KUMIKO: THE TREASURE HUNTER which also has very little dialogue. But that movie had a point. This movie’s intentions are far more foggy, and aren’t any clearer by the end.

The first nameless man, ‘The Hunter’ decides that he had a right good time with ‘The Girl’ and decides to bring his mates along for another ride. What follows is a game of cat and mouse that has almost zero emotional heft due to the aforementioned almost total lack of a script, and consequently also due to the complete lack of character development. The events that transpire are also wildly predictable, if by this point you are still actually watching.


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I must commend the camerawork though, as while barely a thing is said throughout, the shots of the mountains and the forests look incredible. If only this had been paired with a good script and story! The acting is also quite decent, especially given the characters had next to nothing to say, which again negatively affects everything from the personalities (or lack thereof) of each character to why any of the events of the film are taking place, and everything in between.

Overall, I can’t recommend this movie as there simply is not enough meat on its bones. Sure, it looks pretty, but honestly, one could play their favourite album instead of the original audio and you would barely miss a beat. What I really cannot understand is the amount of 10/10 reviews for this film over at IMDB. Were these people watching the same film as I? Perhaps I am missing some vital element that saves this film from being a predictable, confusing and boring mess, but I somehow doubt it. No character is memorable, no performance is memorable, and of course there are no lines that are memorable either. I unfortunately then must label this as truly one of the most underwhelming films I have seen in recent times. It certainly doesn’t have a so-bad-its-good vibe going for it either. It is just bad.


1 and a Half Pops


With special thanks to EAGLE ENTERTAINMENT AUSTRALIA to win one of the 4X copies to AUTUN BLOOD on DVD you need to either like and share/ retweet this post on Facebook/Twitter/ Google+/ Pinterest/ LinkedIn/ Flipboard or Instagram (all the links to follow us are on the top right of homepage), you then need to leave a comment below stating the answer/s to the following questions:

What is your favourite mountain movie and why? i.e. a movie set in the mountains 🙂 My choice has been my favourite since I was a wee lad, THE MAN FROM SNOWY RIVER still steals my heart with every viewing.

If you do not have social media then get with the times – you can still enter, leave your entry below and email me at telling me you don’t have social media (you still need to enter on the website).

Prizes will no longer be awarded to first in first served. It will now be a game of skill and selected purely on the thoughts of the judges, said judges being the Salty Kernels.

The prizes will be sent on or after June 30th! Good luck! Oh, and minor housekeeping – huge apologies for overseas readers, this competition is only available to Australian residents.



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