Howdy one and all and a huge Happy New Year from myself and the Kernels. I hope you had a fantastic, fun and safe New Years and that you have all recovered from your hangovers. As our Top 20 Films of 2015 list is not releasing until January 15th I thought I could tide you over with our list for 2015s Most Atrocious Movies. These are based on scoring from reviews throughout the year and also estimations on a few that I either refused to review and/ or publish or the one I actually turned off and could not watch the end of – as a hint – do not watch MAPS TO THE STARS with your parents.
Some of these movies are a surprise and others are to be expected – you can compare our scores with the scores on Rotten Tomatoes should you wish – RT scores follow titles. I also have to have a special mention for TAKEN 3 – this would have come in at Number 12 on the list but I wanted to keep it a top 10 – also missing out on this list is POINT BREAK – the atrocity released on January 1 so have decided to keep it for the 2016 list.
So many disappointments in the list, you can always expect an Adam Sandler movie to be a piece of dog turd but a movie from Brad Bird you expect a lot more from, especially when you turn down Star Wars to make TOMORROWLAND.
I am sure there will be plenty you agree with and more you disagree with but that is joy of taste – everyone’s is different – what films do you disagree and/ or agree with?
10) CHAPPIE – RT 31%
Worst accent of the year from Hugh Jackman and just an appalling mess of a movie that could have been a masterpiece but turned into a robotic Jar Jar Binks kind of movie.
9) TOMORROWLAND – RT 49%
I loathed this movie – so much disappointment came from so much squandered opportunity – oddly a few critics rate this movie high in their lists – nope – it can burn in hell :).
8) TERMINATOR GENISYS – RT 25%
This one was so disappointing that all sequels have currently been shelved – so much they can do with the future and evil time travel – if Doctor Who can do it for fifty years surely they could have at least made a fifth Terminator movie half decent! And in my humble opinion they should never have messed with the original timeline to accommodate a story.
7) JUPITER ASCENDING – RT 26%
I haven’t seen this one, I have read so much disappointment in it but still want to see it for my Chanchan 🙂 Haha
6) MINIONS – RT 55%
A cheap childish insult to the DESPICABLE ME movies that was made solely for children. Would have been an ideal straight to DVD movie but because of the nagging power of children and ideal toy marketing associated with MINIONS it is now the 11th highest grossing movie of all time, this blows my mind and makes me feel a little ill.
5) FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – RT 25%
No words needed – burn this movie forever!!
4) PIXELS – RT 17%
Adam Sandler – the end.
3) MAPS TO THE STARS – RT 60%
I had to turn this review disc off – the parental units and myself were just sitting there lost, confused and totally over it and then my goddess Julianne Moore does a sex scene so bad I could watch no longer, the film is a fucked up mess, a lot of people may like and I am glad it found an audience but it is no longer Cronenberg for me.
2) THE GUNMAN – RT 16%
This one is in the list because it was our second lowest scoring movie of the year and Kernel Morgan disliked it with so much passion none of the other Kernels or myself has bothered to even hit play. It was also one of the biggest box office flops of the year.
1) FANTASTIC FOUR – RT 9%
Do I even need to explain why this is here? 20th Century Fox annihilated this movie, a movie they trashed the last time they made it, a Marvel story owned by Fox – it is also the lowest RT scoring movie in our list and the largest box office loss of the year. The world screams for Marvel to take this story back and to make the movie properly!!!
Jason King is the owner and editor of Salty Popcorn and Spooning Australia. He is a movie, food, restaurant, wine, chocolate, bacon, burger and brussels sprouts addict. He is a member of the Film Critics Circle of Australia and has been in the Australian movie industry for 25yrs. He loves watching people trip over and is Leonardo DiCaprio’s biggest fan. All the social media links to the right and up will allow you to abuse, troll or stalk him :).