SEX TAPE | MOVIE REVIEW

Kernel Andrew headed off to review this Diaz/ Segel comedy, SEX TAPE, I was quite surprised he wanted to view this one, not really his thing, but, he advises he loves Jason Segel. He is not a fan, you will gather this from below and to be honest the entire idea of SEX TAPE turned me off, just wasn’t interested. That being said, I saw the R Rated trailer (attached below) for the first time while putting the article together and I lolled a lot. But I trust Andrew’s judgement and might leave this one for DVD. SEX TAPE is out now at all commercial cinemas from Sony Pictures, it is rated MA15+ and runs for 94mins – oh, they awesome have their own Australian Website. Enjoy Andrew’s review…….all the best…….JK.

 

SEX TAPE MOVIE POSTER IMAGE
SEX TAPE | MOVIE REVIEW | MOVIE POSTER

 

REVIEW BY ANDREW BRUSENTSEV

All I can say it was were Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel thinking when they read the script to this movie. I understand that the pair were together in making the passable BAD TEACHER (helmed also by SEX TAPE director Jake Kasdan) but this is still no excuse. Segel who has made some fantastic comedy in his day on both TV and film and even Diaz should have avoided this one like the bad case of the runs that it is. To sum up SEX TAPE in a couple of words “mind numbingly unfunny”. But for more detail read on.

This bottom of the barrel which had me wincing just with the trailer and promo artwork is about a couple Jay and Annie (Segel and Diaz) whose sex life has gone the way of the dodo. Wow, how original? Yeh we know when you get married your sex life goes out the window. They now have children and responsible jobs so they aren’t doing the “wild thing” with as much frequency or imagination as they did in their younger days. To rekindle their spark they decide to make a sex tape. That is basically the movie.

 

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SEX TAPE | MOVIE REVIEW | ANNIE (CAMERON DIAZ) IN UNDERWEAR

 

My question is not that this movie has a wafer thin plot but how Kate Angelo, Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller (Segel again hang your head in shame you did The Muppets for goodness sake) managed to stretch this Sex Tape gone viral scenario into a full movie.

Essentially after their night of passion (which is not funny and actually when you see it played back makes you wonder who is holding the iPAD) recreating “The Joys of Sex” position by position they find out that Jay has unwittingly released his video from his own iPAD and synced it to all the iPADs he owns. Apparently he has been going through iPADs like tissue paper and has been giving them to friends, relatives and even the mailman (what?). Ok stupid plot contrivance: You can remote wipe all the iPADs linked to your Apple ID (sorry yes I am a technophile). Instead he panics and after a text message from a mysterious number claiming they have seen the sex tape sets out to get them all back. Honestly a quick call round to the Apple store or a browse on Google would have stopped this entire dilemma but then we wouldn’t have had this excruciating need for a movie I guess.

 

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SEX TAPE | MOVIE REVIEW | JAY (JASON SEGEL) and ANNIE (CAMERON DIAZ)

 

So the preposterous dull first act ends and we slouch into the god awful second. First stop is to claim the iPAD from Annie’s mother which they get back, then their best friends. Next stop is Annie’s new boss who she has known for all of five seconds but has given an iPAD to. Apparently it had her presentation on it. Ever heard of email, USB etc? Apparently not, in this universe all data must be on a physical tablet.

Arriving at her boss’s house we meet Hank (an awful turn by the usually reliable Rob Lowe). Whilst Jay looks for the iPAD round the house Hank entertains Annie. Here we have the preposterous scenes of Annie doing cocaine with an apparently conservative boss by day, Slayer listening drug fiend by night and Jay running around the house in a continuity challenging sequence being pursued by a German Shepherd. It really is stupid.

 

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SEX TAPE | MOVIE REVIEW | HANK (ROB LOWE) and ANNIE (CAMERON DIAZ)

 

This “hilarity” somehow takes up the majority of the movie. At some point Annie and Jay realise that their sex tape is not in the “cloud” but has been uploaded to a porn site being hosted on servers in a warehouse very close to them. (I won’t spoil how they work this out. There is at least 30 seconds of an obvious surprise there.)

Taking their kids with them they break into the establishment of the porn server farm (similar to Youtube but for porn I guess). The owner here is none other than Jack Black. Even his powers of comedy cannot help this movie. We can all predict how this movie will end now.

Honestly there is nothing in this movie. Horrible directing, terrible turns from all involved and a forgettable script.

Not sure what to score this. I was tempted to give it zero but as I did not walk out I think that deserves………….

 

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