FAST AND FURIOUS 7 | REVIEW

FAST AND FURIOUS 7 is surprisingly one of the biggest franchises of all time, a franchise that is basically high octane tits, ass, big cars and burning rubber. They are films for teenage boys and yet we have all (mostly) been captured by them and drawn in to their world. I think it has something to do with chemistry, this cast has it in abundance and while FF7 is all about family and was rewritten to show just that after the devastating loss to the world of Paul Walker in 2013 you truly can see these guys really are family to each other. The other thing that draws us in is the fact it really isn’t taking itself too seriously, it is what it is and it does it well. Paul Walker’s final film FAST AND FURIOUS 7 is out this Thursday 2nd April in Australia and it is going to make a squillion dollars. It is releasing from Universal Pictures Australia, it is the longest in the franchise at 137mins and is rated M. 

 

FAST AND FURIOUS 7 MOVIE POSTER IMAGE
FAST AND FURIOUS 7 | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | MOVIE POSTER IMAGE

 

BY JASON KING

There are two ways this movie can be reviewed, I could sit here and tear apart the faults of the movie, and there are plenty, first of all, the entire law of physics and plausibility are ignored for the movie and I could keep going on about that and be a hater. There is the other way to review this film; review it for what it is, an action orgy of unbelievable car and destruction porn that is also a homage to all seven films so far and the farewell to one of the hottest guys who lived, and one of the founding members of this Furious 7, Paul Walker.

Of note re the title, “FAST AND FURIOUS 7” – it is not to be said as four single words, it is Fast, and, Furious7. While the film is a cars, boobs, bums and hysterical over the top dialogue it is also about a modern seven samurai, the crew are all the seven Ronin who throw it all against the odds doing what they believe is right.

 

FAST AND FURIOUS 7 MOVIE IMAGE
FAST AND FURIOUS 7 | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | BRIAN O’CONNER (PAUL WALKER) HANGING FROM A BUS IN PERIL

 

There is a basic plot, it is not really required for this movie but………..Deckard Shaw, the bigger badder more evil brother of the bad dude in FF6 is out seeking revenge for his brothers demise. He started by killing Han (Sung Hang) at the end of FAST AND FURIOUS 6 and promised to kill the rest of them. So he is hunting Dom and the crew. Then there is Mr Nobody (Kurt Russell) who is basically a MIB guy with all the weaponry known to man and obviously a government agent, he is competing at a war with Somalian bad guy, Sakande (Djimon Hounsou) as they both want a piece of tech which is pretty much Batman’s spy tech from THE DARK KNIGHT. If one of these guys gets their hands on it they can spy and locate anyone in the world in a matter of hours, this would save the U.S. from long wars tracking the Bin Laden’s etc and Sakande could just annihilate anyone he wants. 

Mr Nobody saves Dom’s life and offers him a solution, find him the spy tech and you can be the first person to use it to locate Deckard Shaw and go from being the hunted to the hunter.

Add in lots of cars, action, unbelievable amounts of explosions and one liners and you have it. But like I said, plot not needed – just enjoy the ride and cheese and go with it, don’t fight it. I was honestly clapping through most of the lines in this movie.

 

FAST AND FURIOUS 7 MOVIE IMAGE
FAST AND FURIOUS 7 | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | BRIAN O’CONNER (PAUL WALKER) JUST RIDING A CAR AT HIGH SPEED

 

As I said, all believability and physics must be checked in prior to entry. We have cars dropping from planes, cars flying, cars jumping between buildings, punches that break brick walls but where people keep taking a pounding without broken bones or much bleeding, cars being used as weapons, cameras that are drawn to vaginal and booby areas on a regular basis, one liners with sunset lighting that make you spit soft drink out of your mouth. It is so unbelievable but it embraces it and it takes the piss, think Michael Bay porn that isn’t trying to be serious and you get the drift. While an action extravaganza, the movie is nearly a comedy and at the same time is a loving ode to family and love for a lost member.

Every member has their place, even the IT (superhot not geeky) lady Ramsey says it, Dom is the alpha male, Brian is the ex cop loyal guy, Letty is Mrs Alpha male, Tej is the tech guy, and Roman is the joker. As for Hobbs, he says it himself “honey (or something like that), I am the cavalry.” I was fist pumping and in hysterics. Excluding this the characters have always been the same, they fit the mould that makes up a perfect family.

 

FAST AND FURIOUS 7 IMAGE
FAST AND FURIOUS 7 | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | THE TERMINATOR, NAY, HOBBS (DWAYNE JOHNSON) WITH HIS ADAPTED GATLING GUN OR WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

 

As you probably heard, Paul Walker, one of JKs top 5 guys, passed away, ironically in a super uber fast car disaster in December 2013. He had only filmed half of the movie. The movie was discussed at the time, do we abandon it all together? do we start again without him? etc etc. Instead they re-wrote the film so they could use the footage they had while also moving the focus of the film towards being about family and what you would do for family, not blood family, the family you chose. These people would die for each other.

WETA was bought in to consult on finishing the movie. Through the use of Walker’s brothers, stuntmen and voice-over, again from his brothers, they finished the movie with Walker in it. WETA did the CGI on Lord of the Rings, the end, they do an incredible job. They make it work. Obviously his role is slightly less, and there are a few scenes you know it is not him but it works and you forgive it because they moved mountains to finish this movie made in his honour and tributed so beautifully at the end I had tears rolling down my cheek, I am even choking up righting this paragraph.

 

paul walker always in our hearts IMAGE
FAST AND FURIOUS 7 | SALTY POPCORN MOVIE REVIEW | PAUL WALKER ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS

 

Is it the best in the series? It is definitely the biggest, with what looks like a budget that is the combined budget of the last six movies. It has the least story and doesn’t deserve to be as good as it is but it is the most poignant of the franchise and it embraces what it is. I cannot believe I will never see Paul Walker in a movie again and the world is a lot less without him. But you can enjoy him in this, FAST AND FURIOUS 7 for this one last ride.

The tagline aside – there will be a FF8. And I will welcome it.

 

4 and a Half Pops