Alice Through The Looking Glass | Movie Review

Sadly I thought the first one in this debacle, ALICE IN WONDERLAND was atrocious so had the forethought to offer these tickets up to Kernel Blake, perhaps it was just me the first time around, both of them look spectacular in trailers and filled with abundant visual splendour. I mean how can Tim Burton get it wrong twice, especially when it stars Depp, Hathaway, the greatest legend ever, Bonham Carter and this time around, Sacha Baron Cohen plus Mia Wasikowska? Well it appears they all went out of their way to make ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS worse than the first one. Kernel Blake gives it a wee shredding, enjoy his thoughts of this Disney film out now, it is rated PG and runs for 113mins. All the best…………JK.

 

Alice Through the Looking Glass Movie Poster image

 

BY BLAKE CURRALL

This review for ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS has proven to be quite difficult for me to write. The problem, you see, is that this film is so forgettable, I completely wiped it from my memory the second I left the cinema. So yeah, it was pretty terrible. But as I have literally only a single fan out there (bless you DDJ), they require more than a two line write up that says nothing at all, so we shall persevere. Here goes.

Back in 2010, frequent collaborators of director Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, teamed up to bring us the live action version of Lewis Carroll’s classic story ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Personally, I thought it was terrible (Ed’s note: so did JK – why do you think he offered you the tickets mwooohahahaha) and switched off after about 30mins, put off by Depp in a role that started his spiral into pantomime terribleness, even the usual unique Burton direction and set design couldn’t save the film from poor performances and a nonsensical plot.

I admit, I’m not exactly the target demographic for this type of movie, but there should still be some enjoyment to be had from the young and old alike. Unfortunately, the 2016 follow up to that film ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS fares no better, with children in the cinema I watched it in becoming bored and restless well before the halfway mark, a bad sign when your target audience is looking for something else to do.

 

Alice Through the Looking Glass Mia Wasikowska as Alice Kingsleigh image

 

ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS begins with Mia Wasikowska’s Alice, now a sea captain (was this something from the first film?) using her smarts to out maneuver pirates that are hot on her tail. Upon returning to London, Alice finds that her mother has made a deal with some nefarious folk to sell her father’s sailing ship and force Alice into a desk job, a life that Alice certainly isn’t down with. Soon after, Alice is visited by iridescent butterfly Absolem (voiced by the late Alan Rickman) who informs her that all is not well in the fantasy world of Wonderland.

With good reason to leave the real world behind, Alice takes a leap through the Looking Glass, a cloudy mirror in an enormous mansion, and tumbles back to Wonderland to find her old pal, the Mad Hatter (the atrocious Johnny Depp) has surprisingly gone mad after finding an old hat he made for his father, before he and the rest of the family were seemingly wiped out by a Jabberwocky. With renewed faith that his family is alive, the Hatter begins to die because no one will believe him, even his trusted friend Alice.

 

Alice Through the Looking Glass Helena Bonham Carter as Iracebeth image

 

Why the Hatter couldn’t just get off his arse and look for his family himself is beyond me, instead he begins to fade away and Alice steps up to track down the long lost Hatter clan. Of course the only way she can do this is to travel back through time to when the Jabberwocky attacked the family and to do this she must gain the help of Time himself (Sacha Baron Cohen, BORAT), who conveniently for everyone is hidden inside a grandfather clock that no one else has bothered to go through to get his help. I mean, I know the Hatter is the most annoying person alive, but even his friends couldn’t give two shites about helping him. But I digress….

When Time won’t help Alice to travel across the oceans of time using the MacGuffin/red herring/convenient plot device ‘Chronosphere’ because it will literally put an end to time and all existence, Alice just pinches it anyway and buggers off on her adventure. With Time in pursuit, Alice travels to different times in the past to find out what happened to the Hatters family and bring them back to save his life, meeting a young Hatter as well as finding out the reasoning behind the evil Queen of Hearts’ reign of terror.

 

Alice Through the Looking Glass Sacha Baron Cohen as Time image

 

To save you the time that I wasted sitting through ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, Alice finds the family, brings the Hatter back and almost causes the end of the world. But its OK kids, she meant well and that’s all that matters according to the message put forward in this movie… As you can tell, I wasn’t impressed, the kids in the cinema weren’t impressed and from the look of half the actors on screen, they weren’t impressed either and clearly didn’t put all they had into it, apart from Helena Bonham Carter who had some great scenes in her brief screen time.

There’s really nothing else good to say about ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, Depp is thankfully short on screen time but still manages to grate, Baron Cohen tries his best with an accent that’s part Werner Herzog/part Schwarzenegger and Aussie Wasiowska does what she can with very little. This film is dull, convoluted, nonsensical and utterly forgettable, as Father Time says in the film, “you can’t change the past but you can learn from it.” I should’ve heeded his advice after not making it through the first film in this series and given this one a wide berth too, but alas I didn’t and lost two hours of my life I’ll never get back. Now, where’s that Chronosphere so I can go back in time and do something else instead of watching this snooze fest?

 

1 Pops

 

 

Kernel Blake is a part-time beard bandit, philanthropist, industrialist….bicyclist…photographer, world traveller, movie lover, a man of few words who enjoys the finer things in life, like reciting Snake Plissken quotes. And when all that fails, heads out to a racetrack to do skids. Can be found twatting @bcurrall80 and hipstergramming @bcurrall80

** All images courtesy of various sources on Google or direct from the distributor/publisher – credit has been given to photographers where known – images will be removed on request.